Saturday, August 19, 2017
   
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Invasion of the beetles

I have had visitors. Bugs. Beetles. Crawly Critters. They too have wanted to come in out of the heat, and I can’t blame them. The problem is that I find most of them lying on their backs, some still wiggling their legs in hopes that the effort might right their world. I’m fascinated by this phenomenon. You see, I can relate to their plight.

First, these critters seem a bit top heavy. For no apparent reason and with no provocation, they seem to simply topple over. The floor around them can be completely clear of obstruction, yet there they lie upside down with their world topsy turvy.

I tend to get a bit top heavy too sometimes. For me, this is evidenced by me “getting in my head” too much. I get to thinking about something and before I know it, I’ve created a “mountain out of a molehill” and my world seems upside down. Maybe my thoughts have turned a concern into full blown anxiety. Or, perhaps my mind is telling me that a word spoken to me with shortness is really an indication of much stronger feelings of disapproval. There is no end to the stories that I can create and the interpretations that I can fabricate, leaving my world a little topsy turvy.

Secondly, these bugs have gumption. They will wiggle and squirm and fight to right themselves. It actually works on occasion as I’ve seen one become right side up and continue on its merry way. However, most of the bugs that I see end up a casualty to their struggle.

I, also, strive and struggle against myself and circumstances. I’m often reminded that insanity is defined as doing the same thing but expecting different results, yet I continue to wiggle my metaphorical legs of self-will. Occasionally, something I’m wrestling with works...for a bit...and I can continue on my merry way. A new eating or exercise plan. An intentionality to reach out to those I love. Building space and fun into a busy schedule. Most of the time, however, I am aware that my efforts and self-reliance create very little lasting change and before I know it, I am at risk for emotional, spiritual, physical and mental defeat.

I no longer walk barefooted where the “invasion of the beetles” has occurred, yet I walk gingerly around them with great empathy for their plight. I, too, am a creature who is powerless against her tendencies and circumstances. I recognize that my way of approaching, solving, fixing, and righting my world has proved to be ineffective and often crazy making. I am aware of my need for a power greater than myself to set me right side up and help me to see a new way to proceed.

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